Book Review - And then I peed my pants ... my misadventures in new motherhood, Megan Phillipson

My two offspring are now young adults but over many years I’ve been interested in all things maternal and have made an occupation of reading related texts. My interest spans both the academic and the popular and though I’ve made a concerted effort I can’t keep pace with the output.

Women across the western world are having their first child later in life. They often have both academic and workplace achievements. They’ve travelled, they’ve shared houses, they’ve often lived with their partner for some years beforehand and know each other well.  The vast majority of couples today aspire to a form of gender equal or egalitarian family and yet after the birth there are trends towards gendered roles. The evidence shows that the birth of an infant is a critical life stage and there is often a gap between expectations and experience.

Though there is little reference to these wider trends, assertions such as these underlie Philippson’s book. She writes in the first person and thus leads her reader through her innermost thoughts and reactions up to her child’s first birthday. We quickly learn that the birth was traumatic and even after an event filled year Megan cast back a dissonant eye. I was a mature aged mum. I had my first child in my early 40s and second a couple of years later. And though my partner and I were amazed by the unrelenting requirements for the care of an infant and then a toddler, I can see we had it relatively easy.

I understand that the experience of birth and beyond are as individual as there are people but Megan and her husband faced challenges. There were continuing problems with breastfeeding. I don’t think this is uncommon. A good friend of mine had to give up trying very early on but Megan was heroically persistent. Likewise, I’ve heard of these ‘night games’ with lengthy and unrelenting crying but thankfully this wasn’t the case for us. Statistics on these kinds of issues would make for interesting reading, though it is well known that maternal fatigue is universal and difficult. Across the research there is recognition of the need to improve support services for young families while the trend seems to be in the other direction, dependent on location.

I’m glad I’ve read Megan’s book. This is a year-in-the-life of a new young family. The book isn’t simply easy to read, it leads you through, wanting to know and experience what comes next. I imagine that Megan may be met with hugs and kisses from her readership. I know I want to thank her for her honesty, but I also want to congratulate her for her cleverness. It’s no mean feat to get through a tough first year with a baby but it’s great to have done so while eloquently sharing your story. Megan’s book will now be shelved among favourites such as The Mother Knot by Jane Lazarre and Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich but these are another story. 

Comparative charts on family make-up, dynamics and policies for the OECD (including Australia)

Here is a link to an interesting site that provides comparative figures from OECD countries (including Australia) on family make-up, dynamics and policies.

http://www.oecd.org/social/soc/oecdfamilydatabase.htm#structure 

Among the charts on the site is one that compares OECD country payments and services to families.

http://www.oecd.org/els/family/PF1_1_Public_spending_on_family_benefits_Dec2013.pdf

Australia is high on cash payments and low on services.

In order to access these sites you can hold the mouse over the link and press control - if this doesn't work you can highlight the link press control c (copy) and then put the mouse on the address site (at the top) and press control v (paste).

Mothers and the Transition to Parenthood

The early years for infants and children are widely recognised as critical for brain development. An important contributing factor to the wellbeing of these infants and children is necessarily the health and their mums and their dads. How can we talk about children without reference to these wider support networks? We can't, as a society, provide for those all important social connections that are a necessary part of the developing kin relationships. If we are to take those early years seriously we need to support these young families. These are significant social and cultural events that have been highly medicalized.

The National Women's Health Policy 2010 emphasised the importance of recognising the 'social determinants of health' and particularly in this period of changing gendered roles we need to recognise and respond to how this is being played out within families. 

A major European study drawing from both quantitative and qualitative findings from eight countries on work–family boundaries concluded that:

 ‘gender shapes parenthood and makes motherhood different from fatherhood both in everyday family life and in workplaces (Lewis and Smithson 2006, 13). 

This is a finding that is echoed in the assertion by McHale et al. (2004, 725) that:

‘mothers, but not fathers, see themselves as ultimately responsible for child care’. 

The ‘transition to parenthood’ was identified by Lewis and Smithson as critical in attempts to achieve gender equal outcomes. A claim substantiated by Australian research by Baxter, Hewitt and Haynes (2008) in relation to the development of a gender wage gap, labelled ‘the motherhood wage penalty’; another proposition that is substantiated by multiple studies. 

Throughout the twentieth century the Maternal and Child Health Services have been primarily concerned with infant and child health and this remains the case today. There are moves to change the name to Child and Family Health. Yet, I ask, how can infants and children prosper if their mothers and fathers are struggling? An international body of research on the Transition to Parenthood finds high levels of depression, high levels of marital dissatisfaction and there are legendary issues related to identity for women as new mothers today. 

In 2010 the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare stated that - 1 in 5 - or 20% of mothers with children aged 24 months or less have been diagnosed with depression. More than half of these mothers reported that their depression was perinatal (that is, the depression was diagnosed from pregnancy until the child's first birthday), and the rate of anxiety went much higher. 

The response in Australia to Perinatal Depression has been highly medicalized while the literature on depression most often emphasises the critical role of partner support in the early years after the birth. The related health services are patchy with an emphasis on the health and wellbeing of infants and children. The Post and Antenatal Depression agency in Victoria (among others) needs to fund raise so as to maintain and expand their services see: http: www.panda.org.au 

A comparison of government spending on the family of OECD countries shows that Australia is high on the list for cash payments while close to 30th for spending on family support. This was a trend that the speaker to the report suggested that we change. You can see comparative OECD data at: 

http://www.oecd.org/social/soc/oecdfamilydatabase.htm

These are issues and topics that I will pursue through this blog. 

AIHW, 2010, Perinatal depression Data from the 2010 Australian National Infant Feeding Survey, Information Paper. AIHW, Canberra

Aust. Gov., Dept., Health and Ageing, 2010, National Women's Health Policy 2010, Canberra 

Lewis Suzan, and Janet Smithson. 2006. Gender parenthood and the changing European workplace: Young adults negotiating the work-family boundary TRANSITIONS Final Report. European Commission.  U.K. (available online)                                  

McHale, J P, C Kazali, T Rotman, J Talbot, M Carleton, and R Lieberson. 2004. The transition to co-parenthood: parents' prebirth expectations and early co-parental adjustment at 3 months postpartum. Development and Psychopathology 16:711-733.          

'It takes a village to raise a child'

In 1960 Australia most working women were in low paid positions. The relatively few who were professional were required by law to leave their jobs once they were married. This is something that is hard to believe today, our expectations and experience have changed. In fact the single most significant development in the second part of the twentieth century has been changes to gendered roles; though as we all know, once a baby comes along, it's a whole new ball-game. We haven't reached the 'brave new gender equal world' that we might have thought possible.

Indicators of the Transition to Parenthood (TtoP) are changes to relationships (partner, friends and family); changes to life course; changes to sense of self; negotiating more housework and finding a line between self and baby and the research shows high levels of depression, high levels of marital dissatisfaction, a spike in domestic violence and legendary issues related to identity for new mothers. While at the same time we are developing the most amazing and sometimes challenging relationship with our baby or toddler.

Across the research on depression there is a recognition of the need for social support during the early years after the birth and yet the health and welfare services are patchy and remain primarily concerned with infant/child outcomes.

How can the services and we as a community move closer to the village that we know families need to survive and prosper?